Jameela Jamil's story about getting harassed after rejecting a guy went viral because it’s relatable for all the wrong reasons.

Photo by Andrew Toth/Getty Images

Nearly every woman has a story of receiving hostility because they rejected a man’s advances.

At best, we receive insults, such as “You should be flattered someone wants to go out with you,” or “Whatever, you’re ugly anyways.”

At worst, it’s physical violence.

The Good Place actress (and internet hero) Jameela Jamil opened up about the time she was punched in the face for turning down someone who was hitting on her. Yup, you read that right.

Jamil posted a story of a time when she received verbal abuse for turning someone down. “Was out at the shops with my friend. Man ogles me. Man then approaches me to give me his number. I explain I have a boyfriend but thank him for the offer. Man then threatens my career, saying I better remember that I rejected him. And then Shouts at me that I’m low class...,” postedJamil.

Was out at the shops with my friend. Man ogles me. Man then approaches me to give me his number. I explain I have a boyfriend but thank him for the offer. Man then threatens my career, saying I better remember that I rejected him. And then Shouts at me that I’m low class... 🤷🏽‍♀️

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) March 24, 2019

When women turn down men, we come up with all sorts of excuses. We make up boyfriends. We nervously giggle. We say we’re not looking for someone right now. It’s all a show to avoid getting figuratively (and apparently sometimes literally) punched in the face.

It’s not fair that women have to do this, as one Twitter user commented onJamil’s post. “It’s gross that you had to mention that you were already taken by another man (we’ve probably all done this) to try to ‘let a man down easy’ in order to stay safe and that didn’t even ducking work,” wrote@SnarkyTwin.

It’s gross that you had to mention that you were already taken by another man (we’ve probably all done this) to try to “let a man down easy” in order to stay safe and that didn’t even ducking work 🤬

— Nicky’s 🍰 Twin (@SnarkyTwin) March 24, 2019

The comment promoted Jamil to reveal the reason why she always gives the “I have a boyfriend” excuse.  “I once said no thank you to man when I was 19 and didn’t have an excuse... and he punched me in the face. After that whether or not I have a boyfriend, I say I do. Being a woman is truly, constantly scary. It’s like existing on thin ice,” posted Jamil. Like she’s suddenly going to want to go out with him because he punched her in the face?

I once said no thank you to man when I was 19 and didn’t have an excuse... and he punched me in the face. After that whether or not I have a boyfriend, I say I do. Being a woman is truly, constantly scary. It’s like existing on thin ice. https://t.co/cw1BCc9XUB

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) March 24, 2019

Even though Jamil’s stories are, unfortunately, commonplace, we can learn something from these experiences. “Wecneed to teach children about rejection, so that we can change the way we see rejection as a society. We need to destigmatize it, so that it doesn’t feel like the ground is swallowing you up when someone says no, however nicely. This would lessen their need to lash out,” Jamil wrote.

I once said no thank you to man when I was 19 and didn’t have an excuse... and he punched me in the face. After that whether or not I have a boyfriend, I say I do. Being a woman is truly, constantly scary. It’s like existing on thin ice. https://t.co/cw1BCc9XUB

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) March 24, 2019

Jamil’s Tweets inspired other women (and men) to open up about their experiences.

I have a standing policy with platonic male friends that if I’m feeling uncomfortable I’ll hold their hand to make it look like I’m not alone. It’s ridiculous.

— Christina (@christinadunnn) March 25, 2019

was in a bar once.Guy approached me aggressively wouldnt back off. one of my guy friends had to say back off this is my wife.aggressor said I don’t see rings on your fingers! My guy friend threatens violence. FinallyAsshole leaves. Fun part:9yrs later I actually married my friend

— Amanda Moresco Von Lumm (@mandy_moresco) March 25, 2019

I got called a lesbian and told I was probably on my period when I rejected a guy his friend also spat a chip at me 🤦🏻‍♀️ and this this awesome girl came out of nowhere and started shouting at them. Not how I expected the end of my night out to go 😂

— Kennise Darlsson (@kennydarlsson) March 24, 2019

As a gay man I experienced this last night. I said no 2 a date request with some1 b/cos I didn’t want to date him & he threatened 2 beat me if he ever saw me in public. This is the 1st time this has happened to me. I was scared. I can only imagine how it must feel more frequently

— Madonna Tea (@BADf3minist) March 25, 2019

It should be enough to say, “Sorry, I’m not interested,” and have it end at that.

We shouldn’t have to make up excuses because we’re afraid of retaliation.

Now that women are speaking out against it, hopefully receiving harassment will be less common in the future.

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